On Social Events
Understanding Their Purpose and How To Enjoy Them Without Causing a Problem
Happy Monday!
It is already June and we are about a dozen Standout Summer Associate issues in (if you are new here check out the back catalog). Can you believe it? If the newsletter has been helpful to you, I’d love if you dropped me a note saying why and/or shared this issue with a friend by clicking here:
Now back to our regularly scheduled programming.
Until now I’ve focused mostly on the work. Today’s post is about another feature of many summer associate / summer internship programs where people stress / get in trouble and that is social events. This could include a happy hour, an outing to a baseball game, or even just a casual get together with your fellow summers.
The reality is that your interest in attending these events is likely to vary based on how social you are, how many other friends you have in the city that you are currently living in, and the vibe of your summer job. Whether you love them or hate them (or something in-between) I hope you’ll understand that these events are important but not too important. That means, you should definitely attend some but its OK if you do not attend all (unless you summer program is explicitly strict on this). But more importantly you should try to get the most out of the ones that you do attend. Here’s some thoughts on how best to do that:
Build Community. Whether you like it or not, law is a communal profession. Teams, clients, and networks matter. Starting to build that community (I like that better than “networking”) is a huge part of your summer associate experience. This includes not only your current supervisors but also you co-summers. After all, some of these folks might be colleagues for the rest of your career and others might be clients or, dare I say, friends. The problem is you won’t know who you’ll connect with or build a relationship with unless you spend time with a good number of people. If you are super introverted, don’t worry too much. Even 3, 2-minute conversations are worth it.
Make the Most of These Events. Especially if you only go to a few events and don’t stay all night (which I again think is OK in most situations), don’t just sit in the corner scrolling social media on your phone. You are there for a reason (a few actually) so make sure to engage. If its not your scene just take on an anthropological mindset and engage in the experience as a kind of experiment.
Have Fun. You just finished a long year of school and now you are working in what can feel like a high-stress situation. Its OK to have a little fun at these events. Enjoy the baseball game, or the cooking class, or just the appetizers. But remember . . .
DON’T HAVE TOO MUCH FUN. This is a work event not a trip to the beach with your buddies. As a result, be conscious about how you carry yourself and interact with your peers at all times. I have heard too many horror stories of people getting no offers based on how they acted at a firm social event. Don’t be that person. Now this can be especially difficult when alcohol is involved (which is true at many events). As a result, some folks recommend just not drinking at all at work events and if that is the best approach for you, I support it 100%. And if you do not drink generally, don’t let anyone pressure you otherwise. But if you want to have a drink or two, I think that is doable as well. Just make sure to be conscious about how much you are drinking and how your body is reacting in that moment. You know yourself—and this is a time that that knowledge is power. Again, this is not a college friend’s wedding—this is a professional social situation. A good rule of thumb when you are considering one more drink is to ask yourself if what you are doing in the moment is something you’d be willing to talk about at work the next day. If not, its probably a good idea to pause.
Build Community. Yes, #5 is the same thing as #1. It is because it is that important. I think we’ve lost a lot of the professional community building that we used to do pre-pandemic. And as much as I am the one who wants to go home and put on sweat pants and turn on the TV after a long day of work instead of engaging in “mandatory fun,” I think engaging (even just a little) is really important. It helps you build connections and get to know folks who will help you now and in the future. It also helps make doing what we do all day—work—a more interpersonal exercise.
As always, your mileage may vary but I hope this helps a little.
Keep standing out,
Jonah